Miles To Go

New Years day ect

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:06:13 GMT

The holidays are over and I'm not happy or sad about it. I guess I'm just ready to get on with another year and another decade.

I don't know if I updated on Christmas, but everything went well. I was a little annoyed because I had to keep going over to mom's every time someone wanted to make a holiday visit. I hadn't anticipated that and it got me behind on some of the things I needed to do. But, now that it's over I don't feel the need to whine about it anymore. Her sister from Florida came that was good to get over with. Mom had been obsessing about her visit since July.

I've already broken the pretty necklace that Charlie gave me for Christmas! I was taking off my shirt and broke the chain. It's so thin and delicate that I don't think it can be fixed. Big bummer.

Today I fixed the usual ribs and kraut and Robyn and Wes came and ate.

Medium is on so end of post.

Day after Christmas

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:48:08 GMT

Just a nice calm day. I didn't see anyone but Charlie and later went to mom's and saw her for a while. Mom seemed good today. She was in pretty good spirits. Other than that we just went to Waffle House for breakfast and to Lowes for some electrical boxes. I got all the wrapping paper and trash collected and out of the house. I was really tired an hour before going to mom's and I took a short nap. It was just a great day to wind down from Christmas.

Tomorrow I'm going to take care of Cinda's dog, Angel, for the day. I'm going to bring her to my house and see how she does. I figure the cats will go into hiding and I know Angel is used to cats so there shouldn't be any problem. It will be fun having a dog to walk.

Mom's day

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:18:17 GMT

I took mom to get a perm today. She always wears wig and I was surprised at the condition of her hair and scalp. I have been telling her we need to wash her hair more often, but when I say "we should wash your hair today" she says she's too sick or too tired. I'm thinking I need to get a home health aid to come in at least once a week to help with her personal care since she won't co-operate with me. I'll call and get a referral tomorrow from her doctor.

Before we went to the salon mom said she wanted to go get a ring from a jewelry store we were in a few weeks ago. They still had the ring she wanted and they said they could size it in an hour. I took her to get her hair done and then I left for a while to go clean up her house and then get her ring. She is happy with the ring but she said "I don't know if daddy would have wanted me to have this." I told her of course he would that he had always gotten her something nice for Christmas.
It is sad that they weren't getting along right before he died. It has made it doubly hard on her. She goes from blaming him to blaming me and now she is blaming herself. I thought love stories we supposed to have happy endings. I guess in real life it isn't always so.

Sunday Shopping

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:33:53 GMT

I went to get my hair cut today. There was no one else in the shop and the stylist had a lot of suggestions. She put on an extra conditioner and recommended some hair products to make my hair look thicker. Then she said if I spent $10.00 more I would get a free bath robe. It was a nice robe so I bought some spray that protects the hair from the heat of blow drying and curling irons. With the tip I came out spending $75.00! I went in for a $14.00 haircut! I know I'm a tight wad,but I've never spent that much on my hair before. I could have gotten a perm for that. She was a good little salesperson. My hair doesn't look very different than it did. No one I saw today said it looked nice.

After the haircut I went shopping with Cinda and her mother Carol. I bought a few more Christmas gifts and I got myself a couple of cute sweaters. Cinda returned a coat that she bought last winter. She had a hard time, but she held up the line and they finally gave her a refund.

I feel bad for Cinda. Her husband is having an affair. She is trying hard to get him to stop seeing the woman and she is even Iming the lady. She and the other woman are even going to go out to lunch next week. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. I could tell that her mother was very hurt for her. When we first met up she had tears in her eyes.

I had a nice day and when I came home Charlie had an old pellet stove that someone gave him working. He has it down in the basement right now but after we remodel the other apartment that we intend to move into we will put it in there. It is cozy and warm and will be a good heating supplement. He didn't want to go out to eat so I made a huge omelet with ham, peppers onions, and cheese, and we had that for supper. He loved it. I can take or leave eggs but it was alright. After that I did some gift wrapping and now it is time for lounging. I love lounging.

Christmas Shopping

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 04:28:30 GMT

I have a lot of my Christmas shopping done. Today I did some shopping without leaving the house. I ordered Charlie some science fiction novels he wants from Ebay and I ordered food gifts for Charlie's sister and bro-in-law. I ordered from a place called Figis. It's like Hickory Farms but I noticed the prices are much better. I got them a "Ham and Cheese classic" with two small hams, one smoked and one honey, and three different cheeses and two mustard and I also added a can of dried fruits. It's hard buying for them because I figure what ever I do sis-in-law will probably just roll her eyes. Last year I worried so much about what to get them I ran out of time and I ended up not sending anything. Which was bad timing because she had said she wanted to stop exchanging gifts and I said I wanted to continue and then she sent restaurant gift cards and I got them nothing. oops. I would have liked to be a spider on the wall when they talked about that one. I kind of hope they don't send anything this year so we'll be more even. Then we can stop exchanging.

I only have my son-in-law and my friend and maybe a few extra things for Robyn and Charlie to buy now. Trees up, decorations in the window and throughout the house,Christmas cards sent, (mine and Mom's) and I've even ate a box of Christmas chocolates already. I thought I would eat it early so it wouldn't be around when I start my usual January diet. Good thinking huh?

x-rays and stuff

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:32:09 GMT

Robyn's cat ended up having a flea allergy. The vet gave her a shot and some worn medicine. One of the other tenants (Christina, Robyn's friend) cats has a tape worm and the vet said it was best if all the cats in the building got wormed. I bought enough for Robyn's other cat and I will go get some for mine probably tomorrow. I don't know why I didn't get it while I was there. I'll probably get some for the other tenants cats too and hope that she'll pay me back.

Today I got up at 9am, (which is early for me these days), because my friend has been complaining that we talk about doing things and then don't get together. So, I called her at ten and she was still not up but said she would get ready and would call when I could go get her. I got no call so I called at noon and she said she fell back to sleep and then decided she didn't want to go out. I was slightly annoyed that she didn't call to tell me she changed her mind. On the bright side I started cleaning things in the kitchen while waiting for her and got a shiny kitchen out of it.

So, I knew I had to take mom to get some x-rays today after she visited with some friends of hers that were suppose to be at her house at 1pm. I went to Sears to buy some Christmas gifts while she had her guest. I gave them about an hour to visit and then headed to mom's. It ended up her guest didn't come because of car trouble. We bundled up because it was about 17 degrees outside today and went to get x-rays on her wrist and ankle and foot. We had been putting off doing that and wouldn't you know we would pick the coldest day since last February to go. But, we made it and then I ask her if she wanted to eat out but, she just wanted to go home. I did a few things around her house, helped her get her pj's on and get back to bed and brought her some food. She looked comfortable and tired so I came back home.

I was hungry and made myself some fish, shrimp and french fries. It was very good. Now I need to think of something to fix for Charlie tonight when he gets home at 11pm. He won't eat fish.

Today is mine and Charlies 20th anniversary together! Nineteen married, one living in sin. We will celebrate tomorrow because he has school tonight.

Rock concert!

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:54:48 GMT

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Sometimes it seems like my weeks just repeat themselves. I'm not complaining, I really like my life, but, how many times do I need to post that I took mom to the doctor or that I went to garage sales?

Anyway, last Saturday Charlie, me, friend Cinda and her husband Dan went to an out door concert! We saw 38 Special, Loverboy and Patty Smyth. Oh, I had such a good time. Patty Smyth was first, she does "Sometimes life just ain't enough." and "We are the Warriors." and a lot of other things. She was great. Then 38 Special came on. Their "Strength in numbers" Album has been one of my favorites for years. They just sang parts of some of the good ones and Charlie didn't like that, but it didn't bother me. Then Loverboy. They were never one of my favorite groups but they did one song that is among my top ten favorites it's "When it's over". I really didn't think they would sing that one. I don't think it was a huge hit and I was surprised and happy when they did do it.
I think it was the best time I've had in years. I hope I didn't embarrass Charlie too much with my dancing and singing with the music. lol.
I'd like to go to more of the retro band concerts. They audience is not a bunch of young kids making me feel ancient. Mostly people in their 30's 40's and 50's and even older. Great fun!

Father's Day

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 16:08:34 GMT

I miss you Dad.

Ralph Spalding Sr.
1924-2008

Bad hair

Sat, 09 May 2009 00:36:56 GMT

In this dream I decided to get my hair cut short. It looked terrible and spikey with bald spots.
I think I know what this dreams meaning is.
It means I'm afraid if I get my hair cut short it will look terrible.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:42:14 GMT

Charlie had his van up on ramps and was agonizing about fixing it. I told him it was ridicules to go through all that when he could just take it to AAMCO, it's not like we don't have the money. I was very assertive and kind of insisted. It was Saturday and he called and they said if he had it there by 5pm he could leave it. By Monday it was all fixed and ready to go. He was relieved and glad that I made him take it in. I WON!
Next I'm going to be assertive about him getting all that scrap metal taken in to the scrap yard. I tried to sit out back with him on a pretty day and then I said " This isn't working for me. I just keep obsessing about all the junk piles in the yard." Then I went in the house. He has assured me he will load up the big truck and get the mess out of the yard. ( I will help.) It's not like I'm a terrible old nag. I don't care if he parks his trucks back there. It's just, ENOUGH with the scrap piles!

Robyn and Wes had been keeping their living room and kitchen clean and livable for a while and I offered to help them clean up their big bedroom. We all worked and got the wall to wall clothes, trash and ferret poop all cleaned up. They went and got more cleaning supplies and they are vowing to keep their house cleaner. I'm so happy : }. I know they will be happier and feel better about themselves if they do. Also tomorrow is trash day and Wes took the trash cans out to the street!! I didn't even have to ask him. Could it be? Is it so? Are they growing up?
I really love those kids.

Anyway, Now that I have sprinkled fairy dust on my family and turned them all into my ideal, I can rest and just be my perfect self until I am needed again.

How's it goin?

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:24:26 GMT

Well, since I ask.
Everything has calmed down and life is pretty good right now. I'm still busy with Mom and all of her needs and wants, but she has been a pleasure to be around so it's no problem at all.
We've been just doing regular stuff and enjoying our steaks. Charlie bought a quarter of a cow and we have a freezer full of good meat.
Robyn and I got together and colored Easter eggs and made Charlie and Wes Easter baskets. That was fun. I don't get to be with Robyn alone much these days. We really need a child around here. I miss little ones. But, Robyn and Wes are not ready for a baby by a long shot. Still if it happened I can't say I would be disappointed .
Charlie paid $800.00 to fix the back end of his work van and right away the transmission went out. He is checking around for a cheap way to replace the transmission. I wish he's just take it to Aamco and get it done, but he always wastes time trying to get a deal first. I'm getting tired of being so cheap all the time. I'm as bad as him. I feel like going out and having a shopping spree and buying unnecessary things! But, I'd probably get the shakes and hyper-ventilate. I vow to change! Bad habits are fun!

I finished reading "Overtreated" by Shannon Brownlee. All that I have suspected for a long time she wrote about. Like that well insured people get get more treatment than needed because the health care system is set up so that Doctors and hospitals order many more tests and duplicates of test, drugs and procedures than are really needed. They do it because that is how they make money. The system is use based, not out come based. She said that hospitals fill all their beds no matter how many they have. Doctors get perks when they prescribe certain drugs, so they are more likely to give them to anyone they can. Also, many drugs and treatment that we think help us have not been proven to really help. Like cholesterol medication and surgical stints for the heart. They are just good money makers.
So, these thing are not only needless but dangerous too. Everyone should read this book. It is full of useful information and suggestions on how to change a bad system. It wouldn't be easy but really it NEEDS to be changed.

I also finished "Life after loss" by Raymond moody and Dianne Arcangel. It is about grief and was very good.
I read "How to live" by Henry Alford. A search for wisdom from old people. I hated it. The old people interviewed were not wise in my opinion. Just eccenetric.

Now I'm reading " The language of emotional intelligence" by Jenne Segal. It is interesting and tries to say you can develop Emotional intelligence. I'm not sure that's possible. But, I guess it doesn't hurt to try. I think you're stuck with your EI like you are stuck with the color of your eyes. I guess you could lean to appear more emotionally intelligent, which might be helpful in some situations.

I'm also reading a book by a friend of Lucille Ball, about Lucy. I like to read things like this, I don't know why.

I found three " Chicken soup for the Soul" books in a garage sale and I reed some of that when I don't have much time, or I'm in the bathroom.

Books. Mom and Dad's cat.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 19:30:14 GMT

It's time to return my library books. I have to admit I did read and enjoy "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lovers Soul." It was a good one to read before going to sleep. It has stories of pets that have touched peoples lives. If I could write better I have a story as good or better than any in the book. It is about the white stray cat that hung around the neighborhood, especially my parents house. I couldn't take him in because he would get up on our window and my other cat would be terrified of him.( I did give him food sometimes). Besides that he would run off if you tried to get close to him. I didn't think it was an option to ask my parents to take him because they were old and sick and I thought mom had a bad allergy to cats. The poor cat was out in all kinds of weather and he is deaf. I sometimes would be walking up to the house and he would be sleeping in a pile of leaves in the basement window well and he wouldn't hear all the leaves crackling under my feet.
When my dad started to recover a bit from his heart attack, he started feeding the cat on his front porch. Slowly the cat started to trust him. Later he started letting him in the house and mom wasn't allergic to him for some reason. At that time mom was pretty sick and slept almost all the time. The cat became dads best friend. When I went over all dad would talk about was that cat. He fed him gourmet food and the cat sat on his lap in the evening as he watched TV. He was the best thing that had happened to dad in years. He gave him so much comfort in his last year and a half of life.
Mom had had a procedure and new medication that had given her back a lot of function mentally and physically that had been gone for a long time. She was starting to do more and could have been more company for dad. But, then dad died last September. Mom is devastated . They were married for 62 years. She insists on living alone and that cat is a God send. She is as crazy about him as dad was.He is her main topic of conversation. He sleeps on her bed and she says when she cries he puts his paw on her hand. He is almost never away from her side. Sometimes when I arrive to visit and help mom with things he will leave for a while. Then, when I get ready to go home he comes rambling back into her room and gets in his place at the end of the bed. He is giving her the comfort that he gave dad, and mom needs it even more. She says she doesn't know what she would do without him. He gives her a reason to get out of bed because she has to feed him, and he gets her up at different times to play with all the toys she has bought him. He is one of the few things that make her smile these days.
Since I have gotten older I am not one to believe in cutesy sweetie angel stories but I have to believe that this cat was somehow sent to help my mom and dad. He may even be an angel.

Anyway, I did start " Art history for dummies", but I didn't get too far in it. I may renew it. What I read was interesting. I didn't read much of Chopra's " The third Jesus" either. Maybe I'll get that one another time. The rest of the books I finished or rejected for reasons that I put in a previous post.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:02:47 GMT

A - Age: 58

B - Bed size:full
C - Chore you hate: floors
D - Dad's Name: Ralph
E - Essential start your day item: Clean up cat puke
F - Favorite Current TV Shows: Cold Case, Medium, With out a Trace. I didn't see The Sopranos when it was on and I'm now watching that on DVD. It's what I look most forward to.
H - Height: 5'2"
I - Instruments you play(ed): I play with a key board, but couldn't say I play it
J - Job title: unemployed
K - Kid(s): One Girl
L - Living arrangements: Own apartment building. Live in one with husband, daughter and s-i-l live in another, other two for rent or we use for storage.
M - Mom's name: Billie
N - Nicknames: Wrong way
O - Overnight hospital stay:

Appendectomy

, Thyroid removal, Childbirth
P - Pet Peeve: Ticking clocks, mean people
Q - Quotes you like: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
R - Right or left handed: right
S - Siblings: Brother 2 years older, sister 1yr 7mos younger
T - Time you wake up: between 9am and 11am
V - Vegetable you dislike: brussel sprouts
W - Ways you run late: waiting for someone else
X - X-rays you've had: Lung, spine
Y - Yummy food you make: A salmon dish with rice, potatoes, tomatoes, onions. cumin, garlic and other spices, banana pudding
Z - Zodiac: virgo,

Writer's Block: If Animals Could Talk

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:09:39 GMT

If you could ask your pet any question (and they could answer you), what would it be?

Submitted By frisinator

View 501 Answers

Are you hurting anywhere?

Writer's Block: Words to Live By

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:20:36 GMT

What is your personal motto or favorite quotation?

View 500 Answers

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you.

Junk, Church, Figurine, books.

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:22:00 GMT

Charlie and a couple of his friends are over at the other apartment working on it. Probably mostly just getting junk out of it or working on the basement. Charlie has claimed the whole basement as his "shop", which means in a few months it will be so full of crap he won't be able to work down there. But, I'm trying to shake out of this gloomy funk I'm in so i won't go there.

I really dread Sunday anymore. It's very important to mom to go to church on Sunday night at 6pm. I don't like going. Before dad died she had not been to church in over 60 years. I don't know why it has suddenly become so important, but, what ever makes her happy right now is what we need to do. It really ruins my day though. It's Charlies night off and I don't get home until after 8pm.

I found a cute figurine on ebay. It is an old woman and a middle aged woman, Mother and daughter, sitting on a church pew. The daughter has her arm around the elderly lady's shoulder. Since I have a small collection of mother and daughter figurines it is perfect for me, and a sweet reminder of mom and I right now. I complain about about going to church, ( not to her), but I will probably have fond memories about it some day.

I finished the book I was reading about life in Iraq, "Waiting for an ordinary day". It is really awful that the people were so happy when Saddam Hussein was run out but life has only gotten much worse since then. The US really screwed up there and it cost the people not only many many lives but also any kind of happiness for the living. Their homes and businesses are gone. Towns in ruin. Very little hope for the future. Shameful.

Now I'm reading " My answer is NO, if that's ok with you." It is about how women can say no and (still) feel good about it. I haven't found it very helpful but it's fun to read. I'm almost done with it. Which reminds me. I have to get on the library web site and renew these books. I think today is the last day. I'll probably go get new books this week if I get a chance. I read the one on Scrapbooking, browsed the one on Art History, started " The third Jesus" by Deepak Chopra. I'll have to look at that one again and see if I want to finish it. I rejected the Woody Allen book "Mere Anarchy" I'm either to stupid to understand it or he makes no sense at all. I also rejected "Getting alone with difficult people." I thought the way the book was written would be more suited to an 11 year old. I haven't even looked at "Chicken soup for the pet lover's soul." I may take a look at that tonight. Or I may take it for mom to read. She might like that one.

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 01:18:30 GMT

What are your middle names? His is Ray mine is Rae. Cute huh.

How long have you been together? We will be together 20 years in December. (Wow, I didn't know that until i just figured it out.!)

How long did you know each other before you started dating? Only a couple of weeks

Who asked who out? He asked me.

How old are each of you? I'm 58 he's 47. He's still older than me though.

Whose siblings do/did you see the most? We go out to eat with my brother and his wife now and then. His sister lives far away.

Do you have any children together? Well, we've been together since Robyn was less than one.

What about pets? KiKi the one eyed cat and Meeka the barfing cat. Love them to pieces.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? One thing that was hard was that I couldn't go to Texas to see his father with him because I need to stay close to my elderly mom.

Did you go to the same school? no

Are you from the same home town? No

Who is the smartest? He is.

Who is the most sensitive? We are both very sensitive. He just hides it better.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? Ponderosa

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Texas, but not for many years.

Who has the craziest exes? Me being older I have a lot more baggage, exes included. He had a pretty clean slate when we met.

Who has the worst temper? me

Who does the cooking? Me, I do all of it. Unless we grill out.

Who is more social? Neither of us is social. I can't say who is the worst.

Who is the neat-freak? I'm not a Martha Stuart but compared to him I come close

Who is the more stubborn? He is. He seems all mild mannered and compliant but it's all an elaborate ruse.

Who hogs the bed? Me

Who wakes up earlier? he had been lately

Where was your first date? We went to my house to watch Star Trek videos because I didn't want to leave my baby with a sitter.

Who has the bigger family? Maybe mine by a little

Do you get flowers often? Not often. But I think he's getting me some for Valentines day this year.

How do you spend the holidays? There's no place like home.

Who is more jealous? He isn't jealous at all. I get a jealous when he spends much time with his friends so if it were a woman I'd probably go berserk.

How long did it take to get serious? About a year

Who eats more? me.

Who does/did the laundry? me

Who’s better with the computer? He is

Who drives when you are together? He dose. It's so nice to just sit back a relax.

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 09:43:27 GMT

I knew I shouldn't have drank that Pepsi so late. It's 4am and I still can't sleep. Charlie drinks several cups of coffee every night after 10pm and sleeps like a baby. I wonder why I'm so sensitive to caffeine? Even to much chocolate or sugar can keep me up all night. No biggie since I can sleep until eleven though. I'll get a couple of hours probably.

Mom has been so sad. Her grief is very bad. I thought she was doing a little better for a while. That was until my sister, who is a bit crazy, upset her. It seems one day my sister called mom and said she was near by and was going to stop by. Mom says she got out of bed right away, got in her wheelchair and went and unlocked both the storm door and the front door. She sat in her chair waiting for Sue but she never arrived. She called Sue up and said "Where are you?" Sue said " I'm home where do you think I am. You didn't let me in. I was knocking and yelling and you didn't let me in!" (When I came over a couple of hours later both doors were unlocked just as mom said.) Then sue called her up late at night, several times, and told her what a bad mother she had always been and said all kind of horrible things to her. Can you imagine someone doing that to their 81 year old grieving disabled mother? I have figured out, I think, what is wrong with my sister. I think she has paranoid personality disorder. She goes off on these rants often and I have been the victim myself. I know how cruel she can be. Mom has put up with it for so many years. She just isn't strong enough to take Sues abuse now.
I have no idea what happened or why Sue couldn't get in. for one thing I gave her the combination to the lock box with keys to the house in it. You would have thought she'd have been worried about mom and used the keys if she couldn't get in. But NO, It's all about her as always.

Anyway, when I got to mom's house today my brother was there. I noticed that mom looked very stressed out and teary eyed. He hadn't visited for a couple of weeks and I thought it would cheer her up to see him. When he left she said "I wish he hadn't come. He doesn't understand anything." I don't know what that was about. Ralph jr. is a bit of a bone head but I doubt if he did anything besides talk about himself like he usually does. He's a good guy.
She said she needed to go to bed and when she did she started crying and saying how she couldn't stand dad being gone and she couldn't take much more, and wanted to die. I didn't know what to do but I said I thought she needed to get out for a while. I took her to a department store that she hasn't been to for a long time. She really seemed to cheer up. She bought some dusting power and perfume and got a free tote bag, and she found a couple of jackets that she liked and a ring to replace one that was turning green on her finger. She said she was feeling better and when I called her later she still seemed in better spirits. I guess I'll just try to keep her busy. If it's shopping that helps, shopping it is.

I'm going to try to sleep again now.

Missing Dad

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:03:16 GMT

I have been weepy lately. I saw a commercial for breathing strips and cried off and on all day yesterday. Dad used those strips at night and would sometimes forget he had them on and have it on when I got there in the afternoon. It's funny the things that get to me. I miss him a lot. Mom is having some health issues and I need to talk to him like we always did about what to do.

Writer's Block: Left Behind

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 17:06:03 GMT

My father died and we had him cremated. I was surprised that it really bothered me that he was all gone. I think I'd like my bones to at least hang around for a long time. Maybe someday far in the future to be unearthed and people will say " I wonder who she was?" "She had a slight curvature of the spine and a broken finger. It appears that she spent her life in some kind of manual labor from the wear and tear on her knees and wrists, but she had extensive dental work done so she probably lived a life of relative prosperity ." It would be comforting to know somewhere there is proof that I once lived.

Snow!

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:02:11 GMT

Lots of snow here today. Charlie and Wes have been shoveling for hours with only a break when I called them in to have some bacon and eggs. Wes has work today at 3pm, but I don't know if he'll make it. I've got to get out this afternoon to go to mom's. I made up enough doses of medicine that she could get by until tomorrow, but she screws up the timing of her medicine and she gets confused, so I really need to go.
Robyn is off today and she came down for breakfast and has been chilling in front of the tv since then. Charlie's HVAC class is canceled.

I got up this morning to the sound of birds outside my kitchen window, I've been feeding them and they are starting to get pissed if I'm late putting out the seed, I'm almost out of birdseed. If I get out I'll try to stop and get some. I have been seeing a huge blue jay out there, sparrows, finches, cardinals. My cat loves sitting in the window and watching them.

Well, I thought I had a lot to write but I guess I don't. Hopefully I won't have to much excitement to write about after I go out later.

Shop till you Drop, Waffle House, Sam's Club

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 00:02:25 GMT

The plan was for Cinda, mom and I to go to "The world's biggest indoor Garage sale" today. I had been looking forward to it because I have been having garage sale withdrawal since they are pretty much over after October around here. First mom said she didn't think she should go because we have plans for Sunday and it might be too much on her. Probably a good call on her part. Then Cinda said she was sick when I called her to go today. So, I ask Charlie to go with me. It's not really his thing , but I reminded him that I have gone to two gun shows with him. So we went. It was crowded and we both went our own ways with him finding me a few times to see how it was going. He didn't find anything. I got a flue cover. I looked for one of those all last summer. Robyn and Wes's apartment has an open flue hole. this is perfect. It looks nice and old and will do good there. I found one of those metal drinking glasses from the fifties in a pretty blue. I have a little collection of those and when i find them in good shape I pick them up. I also got three pairs of ear rings for a dollar a pair and they are pretty nice.

After we left there we went to the waffle house, Charlies favorite place, and had breakfast. I had a pecan waffle, sausage and a vanilla coke. Charlie had eggs and bacon, hash browns and coffee.

Then Charlie wanted to go to Sam's club and add me to a membership that he got with a friend of his. It was fun looking around. I got a free 16 inch pizza for applying for a credit card. Of course I was turned down for the card but what the heck, Free Pizza! I really don't know if the two of us need to shop for food in bulk, but Charlie was all up for it so we'll see how it goes.

Robyn called while we were in Sam's Club and said she had cramps and wanted me to bring her something for it. It was close to time to go to mom's and give her her meds so I told Robyn it would be a while. She ask me to bring it to her job, so on the way home we stopped and I gave her some pills.

Mom was doing pretty good today. She was talking about an argument her and her cat have been having. She said he finally made up with her and they were getting along fine now. I'm glad she has that cat. He keeps her busy and is good company for her.

We are glad to be home now and will have the free pizza when we get hungry. it was a nice day.

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:37:02 GMT

THANATOPSIS

by: William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878)

O him who in the love of Nature holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language; for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty, and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,
Make thee to shudder and grow sick at heart;--
Go forth, under the open sky, and list
To Nature's teachings, while from all around--
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air--
Comes a still voice--Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that nourish'd thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again,
And, lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix for ever with the elements,
To be a brother to the insensible rock,
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.

Yet not to thine eternal resting-place
Shalt thou retire alone, nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world--with kings,
The powerful of the earth--the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulchre. The hills
Rock-ribb'd and ancient as the sun,--the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods; rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks
That make the meadows green; and, pour'd round all,
Old Ocean's grey and melancholy waste,--
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom.--Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lose thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon and hears no sound
Save his own dashings--yet the dead are there:
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep--the dead reign there alone.
So shalt thou rest: and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living, and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favourite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glides away, the sons of men,
The youth in life's green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron and maid,
The speechless babe, and the gray-headed man--
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side
By those who in their turn shall follow them.

So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan which moves
To that mysterious realm where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged by his dungeon; but, sustain'd and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.

Doldrums

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 21:22:41 GMT

It seems like everyone is resisting movement today. Including me. Robyn has a long shift at work and she had to drag her self kicking and screaming to get there. Charlie had to go snake a drain, which he wasn't excited to do. I've just been a slug today so far. I've tried to think about dinner, but haven't got an idea. We'll probably end up with frozen pizza. Mom wants to go to church tonight so I've got to do that. I won't get home until at least 8pm.

It's very cold and I think the roads are icy. I think January is my least favorite month. It's long and cold and blah!

I really have got to pull my self out of this.

Life is good. Life is good. Life is good.
I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok
Everybody' is ok.

Drone, drone, drone.

I think I'm going to start listing the books I reed in my journal. Then I'll see how many by the end of the year. It won't be a large number, but it will be interesting to know. Right now I'm reading "The Third Jesus" by Deepak Chopra. I've also started " Waiting for an ordinary day" The unraveling of life in Iraq. by Farnaz Fassihi. (That one should make me thankful for days like this one). And my bathroom book is "The education of oversoul seven." by Jane Roberts. I read it when I was in my twenties and really liked it and thought I'd read it again. I started to read "How to get alone with difficult people" by Florence Littauer, but I hated it and I won't finish it. It is written in a style that is more suited to pre teens. Really bad.

I'm going to read some of the Iraq book now.

Just sittin here watching the wheels go round

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:59:29 GMT

When did this happen? Lately I have a crap load of free time. Right now mom is holding her own pretty well and I'm only going to her house twice a day if she is feeling really bad. I've only been going once a day usually, and spending a few hours with her and doing what I can. I stopped going at 11am because she was always sleeping. it works out better if I go around 5pm. That way I can get the mail and make sure she eats something. That leaves me with the whole morning. I've just been cleaning doing laundry and cooking, which doesn't really take that much time. ( At least not to do it up to my standards).
By noon I eat a little lunch and wait to take Robyn to work, which is usually about 4pm and then go to mom's while I'm out. I'm back home by at least 8pm and have two hours before Charlie gets home from school where he teaches adults Heating and air conditioning. I'm starting to feel like I should be doing more. I could probably work part time in the morning and still do what I have to do. I don't really want to work but I don't like feeling like I'm not pulling my weight. Charlie works service calls in the morning and teaches at night. He brings in all the money. All he asks of me is to pack him a lunch and have some food ready when he has time to eat. Everything is about my family. There's mom, and then Robyn and Wes haven't paid any rent for the apartment upstairs for more than a year. He is just carrying all the load. Charlie doesn't want me to work and I couldn't bring in much money if I did. So, I'm not sure what I should be doing. If anything happened to him we would all be screwed.

For now i'm just going to enjoy this time of relative quiet. I'll worry about it tomorrow.